This morning I decided to study on anger and the causes. After lying in my bed, tossing and turning, I realized that my inability to sleep was due to anger. I lay very angry, as thoughts, actions, and scenes played out in my mind, of events that happened within the last year or two. How easy it was and still is for me sometimes to get caught up in these feelings of unresolved anger. In order to function properly we have to learn how to let go of anger so that we can live a healthy life physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Human anger does not produce the righteousness of God. (James 1:20 NLT)
It is better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife. (Proverbs 21:19 NLT)
That’s correct! Releasing your anger on someone does not produce righteousness. Righteousness in neither you nor them. No your tongue lashing will not cause them to change, permanently. Sure they may change momentarily and/or walk on eggshells around you for fear of your wrath, but that change will not be everlasting.
I have learned from my marriage that, although the anger was warranted, the message of my feelings weren’t received because my delivery was whack. It was at these moments, that any and everything that could, would, and shouldn’t have been said came out. The constant disrespect led to both parties being hurt and eventually our marriage relationship suffering.
You will not be able to maintain peaceful, whole, relationships if you do not get a grip on your anger. This is not only dealing with your marriage but also dealing with other relationships. No one wants to be around an angry person.
The earth is the Lords and everything in it. The world and all its people belong to him. (psalms 24:1 NLT)
I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him. (Psalms 62:1 NLT)
Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. (Psalms 62:5 NLT)
I am not saying that it is ok to keep your feeling bottled up; however we must recognize the source of our anger. I am a person who likes to be in control. Controlling humans, self, situations, and things. I’ve learned thru the course of the year, I am not in control. As a matter of fact, I’m glad humans aren’t in control actually. God is in control. Everything and everybody belongs to him.
We also put expectations on people, places, and things. This should not be so. Everything made is imperfect. Looking for perfection, in an imperfect world, will keep us emotional and angry.
Through experience I have learned, that when I feel the emotion of anger, that it’s ok to take a minute to walk away and reflect. During this time I process my feelings, write in my journal, and pray. I am able to meditate during this time and answer the questions relating to the source of my anger.
Although I am still in the learning process of dealing with anger, this study has truly helped me to evaluate myself more thoroughly. We all need healthy relationships while on earth. We are put here to coexist although we have different personalities and beliefs. I believe it’s possible to agree to disagree and still have respect for each other.